Of Chivalry And Romance In A Dumpster

"we made out in a dumpster behind the thrift store. we had plans, i guess you could say we failed them. these tattoos are forever, it's gonna snow forever here. but these things don't matter no more because i'm not a punk rock hero and you're no fairy princess, just cause you're beautiful and i've got a stupid haircut."- this bike is a pipe bomb


phototgraph courtesy of look at this fucking hipster dot com.

l;hklh

closed door: check
carlo rossi: check
overwhelming sense of hopelessness: check

Eyeshadow Porn

My mom has agreed to order me some fabulous eyeshadows for christmas and I am facing some very tough decisions. Blimey.






PINKS

"Look At Me" 

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

 "Electro Pink"

 Medusa's Makeup, $8.00

 "Raspberry"

  Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

 YELLOW/GOLD/ORANGE

 

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

"Coutour"

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

"Buttercupcake" 

Sugarpill, $12.00

"Juicy"

 Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

 "Tangerine"

 Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

NUDES/HIGHLIGHTERS

 Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

"Electro White"

Medusa's Makeup, $8.00

"Tako" 

Sugarpill, $12.00

BLUES

 

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

 

 

 "Blue Bird"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

"Blueberry"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

 

 

PURPLES

 

 

 

 Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

"Purple Haze"

Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

 

 Sugarpill, $12.00

 

 

 "Grape"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

 

 

GREENS

 

 

 

  Heavenly Naturals, 4.99

 "Envy"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

"Grassy"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

GLITTER

Medusa's Makeup, $6.00

 

 

 

 Medusa's Makeup, $6.00

SILVER/GREY

 "Wizard's Wand"

Beauty From The Earth, 6.50

Needless to say, this is going to be difficult.

Grinch Makeup

I was listening to Tech Nine's The Grinch, which I highly recommend by the way, and it made me want to do some grinchy makeup. So without further ado..

 

What I Used:

• Revlon PhotoReady Face Makeup in 001 Ivory
• Hard Candy Intensif-eye radiant shadow stick in Pop
• Make Up For Ever Eyeshadow #171
• MAC C.R.E.A.M Eyeshadow Palette (the green and black shadows)
• Maybelline EyeStudio
• Maybelline Lash Stiletto
• Maybelline Lipliner in 50 Red
• Revlon PhotoReady Transluscent Finisher

Songs Everyone Should Know Vol. 1

Screeching Weasel

I Wanna Be Homosexual

From The Album Boogadaboogadaboogada

I've got a little lisp, and I've been working on my limp wrist.
Women are a drag, I think I wanna be a faggot, man.
A mincing ninny, prancing fairy, merry little queen.
A Bruce Labruce wet dream, a Nancy Boy with wings.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be

Shock the middle class, take it up your punk rock ass.
You rub your little thing, when you see phony dykes in Penthouse magazine.
So what's the difference Mr. Cream Rinse, you just need a man.
A beefy leather fag, to take you out in drag oh yeah.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be

Call me a faggot, call me a butt loving, fudge packing queer.
But I don't care 'cause it's the straight in straight-edge,
that makes me wanna drink a beer and be a pansy, and be a homo.

Shock the middle class, take it up your punk rock ass.
You rub your puny thing, when you see studs with tight jeans pass you on the street.
Who wears short shorts? You wear short shorts.
You're so full of shit
Why don't you admit that you don't have the balls to be a queer.

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.
I wanna be a homosexual

CLICK THIS NAO

Myspace Shit

Saving my Myspace blogs so I can delete that shit.


WORDS OF WISDOM.

Mine:

Ecstacy is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Do not attempt to snort cocaine and then perform fellatio.

Doing the right thing is almost never any fun.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at the elderly.

Tits and red lipstick will get you everywhere.

When all else fails, blame your parents.

Do not trust a man. Ever.

Others:

"Nothing kills the taste of peanut butter quite like unrequited love"- Charlie Brown

"Life's a bitch, and then you die"- Mac Dre

"Beauty is power the way money is power the way a loaded gun is power"- Chuck Palahniuk

"Oh, the sun never sets on the british empire. Well, the sun never sets on my ASSHOLE!"- Stevo

"If you love somebody, set them on fire"- The Dead Milkmen

"Everybody knows that you need a flute to operate a magic carpet"- Angelo Bruno

"It's not what the pussy can do for you, it's what you can do for the pussy"- The Cook

"Guard your bitch, i'm far from rich"- Brian Mcgreevey

"It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring"- Marilyn Monroe

"I'm pretty sure there's alot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking"- Derek Zoolander

"If one drinks much from a bottle marked poison, it is certain to disagree with one sooner or later"- Alice

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."- Penny Lane

"LET'S SMOKE SOME CRACK!"- Defiant Mike

"Only posers die"- Stevo

"It's a crazy fucked up world, and we're all just barely floating along, waiting for somebody that can walk on water"- Heroin Bob

"Who said heroes had to be role models, anyway?"- This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

"Time's short, your life's your own, and in the end we are just dust and bones"- Guns N Roses

"Let's go back to the swamp, GUYS!"- Gorky

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool" Lester Bangs

"George Washington was in a cult, man. And the cult was into aliens, man." - Slater

"It's just murder. All god's creature's do it, in some form or another. You look in the forests and you see species killing other species, our species killing all species including the forests, and we just call it industry, not murder"- Mickey Knox

"If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair."- Scott Mckenzie

TATS I NEED

oblina

"STAY SICK" (knuckles)

a popsicle (amanda)

"demented"

demonic tinkerbill

princess jasmine on a stripper pole

pill bottle marked poison

alice and the caterpillar, feed your head

the pumpkin carriage

"too fast for love" (wrists?)

starry eyes

bikini girl w/ machine gun

lava monster

chucky

hannah(callowlily)

nicole(glittersniffer)

dianapus

axl rose "the perils of rock n roll decadence"

ballerina (palm)

lucy in the sky with diamonds (for delaney)

malifecent

helping hands (up my side)

the queen of hearts (mom)

wolf (grandma)

the four cranium characters

a mermaid

gas mask girls

"gimme danger"

a baked bee

tube of lipstick

david bowie

the derek zoolander center for kids who cant read good(and who wanna learn to do other stuff good too) with ANTS.

zombie bitch with a dagger

mona lisa and mad hatter

the cheshire cat

cruella de vil

the jabberwocky

kaa (jungle book)

the owl from happily ever after

the beetle or girl toad from thumbelina

mike from monsters inc

flotsam and jetsam

sleeping beauties fairy godmothers

captain hook and the crocodile

mallory knox

the ORIGINAL appetite for destruction logo

arrow in heart (you give love a bad name)

rocket queen

alex from a clockwork orange

freddy krueger

"Fucking Classy" (tramp stamp)

PUNK (on my vag)

 

 

The Last Will And Testament Of Hannah Lane Trimble

To Delaney Persinger, I leave my computer,digital camera, and alien cup.

To Kirsty Bartalone, I leave my chili lights, and my Freddy Krueger candle.

To Nicole Openshaw, I leave the magic 8 ball, my fabulous surfboard ashtray, my ipod, and my cheetah print jacket.

To Hannah Russell, I leave my last remaining doll head, along any fabulous shoes/clothing/purses/accessories that may strike her fancy.

To Tanner and Colton Brown, I leave any vehicle I may possess at the time of my death, along with my mix cds.

To Sarah Ditty, I leave any and all cosmetics, and my book entitled "Making Faces".

To Sharon Long, I leave one Ebony Maximus, in the event that my death should predecede hers. I also leave her whatever else she wants including but not limited to any residence I may possess.

To Brian Mcgreevey, I leave my light up flamingo.

To Michael Ragan I leave his Disrupt T-Shirt, and my neon green hipster shoes.






Well, that was fun.

Amy Winehouse Makeup

I've been wanting to try out Miss Winehouse's so-ugly-it's-fucking-fabulous look for a while now. It would have turned out much better if I hadn't been forced to dip my red lipliner pencil into a drying up pot of cream eyeliner to apply it. I need new makeup. Also, Amy usually favors a nude lip, so that super fucking killed me also. I feel naked without red lipstick. Anyway-

Yeah, that's enough of me, isn't she fabulous?

Coolest Urinal Ever?

I think so.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1

Yeah, that's right, i'm a movie critic.

So I think it's safe to say that this was my favorite HP movie so far, along with The Half Blood Prince. The first scene with Voldemort and his death eaters was almost exactly how I pictured it in the book. I did notice that they had Pius Thicknesse at the table with the death eaters, whereas in the book one simply mentioned who he was and that he was under the imperius curse. This didn't really bother me, as i've read the books and know who he is, but if I hadn't read the books, I might have wondered what was so "useful" about him, as Voldemort says. I also love that he was kinda creepy looking. LOVE the pinstripe suit.

The scene with the seven Harrys was pretty well done as well, I was really glad that didn't leave out Fleur's line, "Bill, don't look at me i'm hideous," and that we got to see Harry in a bra. That cracked me up. It really annoyed me that in the movie Harry was just meeting Bill Weasley and Mundungus Fletcher for the first time, but that is the fault of the directors of the previous movies. Also, i've always thought the Weasley twins were th hottest boys in the HP movies, but Bill definitely gives them a run for their money.

I can't seem to find a good picture of the dude, so this will have to do.



The highlight of this movie for me was without a doubt Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix is my favorite character in the books, and they could not have cast her more perfectly. I love how insane she is, and her fabulous hair and clothes. She even looks hot with rotten teeth. The scene with her and Hermione in the Malfoy Mansion was definitely my favorite. I loved the shot of Hermione with a tear running down her cheek, and the word "mudblood" carved into her arm. That wasn't in the book, and i'm really glad they added it. It was horrifying and perfect.

Another scene they added into the movie that wasn't in the book is Harry and Hermione dancing after Ron leaves them. I had heard about this before I saw the movie, and was prepared for it to annoy the shit out of me, but I actually liked it, I thought it was pretty cute.

A few small things that they got wrong:

• What was up with the dude they cast to play Albert Runcorn? What the fuck? The dude was described in the book as tall, muscular, and intimidating. I'm sorry, but is anybody initimidated by this fucking guy?   

It also annoyed the piss out of me that Harry left Mad Eye's eye on Umbridge's door while impersonating him.

•  Where was the ghoul in Ron's pajamas?

• I really wish they would have kept the scene where Kreacher hits Mundungus Fletcher on the head with a frying pan.

• There were two instances where polyjuice potion should have been used and wasn't. Harry was supposed to attend Bill and Fleur's wedding as "Cousin Barny", and he and Hermione went to Godric's Hollow as muggles in the book. Not too big of a deal, but still.

•  The one thing that really disappointed me about this movie was that after Dobby dies, they don't show Harry marking his grave with "Here Lies Dobby, A Free Elf". That shit made me weepy when I read it, and it sucks that they left it out of the movie.

Things they got right:

• The actor that plays Xenophilious Lovegood. He's perfect.

• "Keep Off The Dirigible Plums"

• The tale of the three brothers was awesome.

• When Ron destroys the horcrux, that scene was way cooler than I pictured it from reading the book.

• The scene where George walks in on Harry and Ginny. (Not how it happened in the book, but it was funny as fuck.)

• The Dumbledore dust figure. 

• The Magic Is Might statue at the ministry.

Anyway, i'm done babbling now, here's some pictures.